Hey guys, welcome back to Musical McCool, my weekly series dissecting the Irish charts!
Well, it happened, Taylor's The Tortured Poets Department hit the charts, becoming the biggest debut album of 2024 so far, as well as becoming the fastest album to ever hit a BILLION streams on Spotify in a week! Even with everything the last few years including the Eras Tour, it's frankly still a little stunning just HOW astronomically huge this release is for Taylor. And while we'll get to my thoughts on the album itself a bit later, for now, we thankfully only have to cover the 3 biggest debuts from it, in keeping with irish chart rules.
The Top 10
And yet the really crazy thing to me is that she DIDN'T manage to take the number 1!
1. Too Sweet - Hozier [LW: #1 / WOC: 5]
2. Fortnight - Taylor Swift (Ft. Post Malone) [LW: - / WOC: 1]
3. espresso - Sabrina Carpenter [LW: #4 / WOC: 2]
4. The Tortured Poets Department - Taylor Swift [LW: - / WOC: 1]
5. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart - Taylor Swift [LW: - / WOC: 1]
6. i like the way you kiss me - Artemas [LW: #2 / WOC: 5]
7. Belong Together - Mark Ambor [LW: #8 / WOC: 8]
8. Scared to Start - Michael Marcagi [LW: #5 / WOC: 15]
9. Austin - Dasha [LW: #6 / WOC: 10]
10. Lose Control - Teddy Swims [LW: #9 / WOC: 25]
That's right Too Sweet by Hozier weathered the Taylor Swift bombshell! Now, I don't know if it'll hold that spot, and you could argue Hozier has extra sway in his home country, but I'm still so delighted and impressed to see him hold his own against such titanic odds!
Now, we also had 3 whole debuts from Taylor (incidentally we got I Can Do It With A Broken Heart while the UK got Down Bad, I'd call that a win), but even with that, espresso by Sabrina Carpenter still managed to gain some traction up to number 3, proving there might be more to this than just the initial big push from her record label! Either way, all of it forced back i like the way you kiss me by Artemas back to number 6, though expect that to rebound next week, it's not going anywhere! And it'll be closely followed by Belong Together by Mark Ambor, which gained to number 7 and seems poised to be our next big acoustic hit... look, I'll take it over Benson Boone or Teddy Swims or Michael Marcagi, I like the melody a lot more than most of these types of songs this year, even with its corny-as-fuck lyrics! Finally, Austin by Dasha lost some spots down to number 9, but again, don't read into that too much.
The Punished and the New
Where things get a lot less temporary is lower down the charts, where we had a few new ACR victims, and some NOT-insignificant ones:
These were all pretty big hits, all 3 of them were in the Top 10 at some point, and now all 3 just got their streaming value cut in half. And while I'm glad they all saw some success (yes, even Beautiful Things, as tiresome as it got over time), MAN am I sad to see End Of Beginning among these victims, such a unique and great hit among the crowd this year!
But to make up for it, we had a couple of delightful winners too, like Shaboozey's effortlessly charming A Bar Song (Tipsy) gaining BIG to number 11, followed closely by (YES!) Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan up to number 18! I know it's a lot to ask, but PLEASE let this be a real hit! In less good news, Whatever She Wants by Bryson Tiller reached number 42, GATA ONLY by FloyyMenor & Chris MJ hit 46 (boo), I LUV IT by Camila & Carti rose up to 47 (BOOOOOOOO!!!), and Cry by Benson Boone climbed up to 53 (BOO- well, it's better than I LUV IT, but still!)! Thank fuck Jump by Tyla, Gunna & Skillibeng also appears to be gaining traction up to 66, otherwise I'd be worried the bad was starting to outweigh the good!
We also saw a few more expected losers: unsurprisingly, Illusion by Dua Lipa didn't hang on as it slipped down to 21, Like That by Future, Metro & Kendrick fell to 29 (we'll get to why that's especially unfortunate a bit later), Home by good neighbours FINALLY takes a real hit down to number 30 (oh yeah, it's been here the whole time, FUCK me I guess!), Forget About Us by Perrie sadly isn't seeing much interest past its debut, immediately dropping to 49, and JOLENE and II MOST WANTED by Beyoncé meet their inevitable fates, plummeting down to 65 and 68 respectively! Wow, they REALLY didn't care to make this album marketable, did they? See you at the grammys, I guess.
And now, our new arrivals, starting of course with the Taylor tracks:
Title: Fortnight by Taylor Swift
Position: #2
For the record, I always thought Midnights was overrated, even before the backlash came after it won album of the year. To me, it was to Taylor Swift what Sweetener was to Ariana Grande, a tricky venture into experimentation that just didn't pay off in the execution, feeling rushed, overwritten and overproduced in spots, with odd lyrical quirks that aren't new to Taylor, but felt very forced, and a collection of weaker hooks that made it hard to revisit outside of individual songs like Lavender Haze, You're On your Own Kid and especially Mastermind. Better than Reputation but probably not much better than Lover.
So maybe that's why the immediate pushback to The Tortured Poets Department, even before the release, has felt very exaggerated to me. If anything, I think this album is WAY better and certainly more interesting than Midnights, both emotionally and in the framing. The main 16-track version only runs 5 minutes longer than folklore - my favourite Taylor Swift album - and while the writing is definitely a tough pill to swallow, once you realize that a lot of it is incredibly sarcastic and ironic - look at the fucking title - you start to realise that there's actually a huge amount of emotional pathos and trauma being worked through.
And while this may be an unpopular opinion, I think Fortnight is one of the best opening tracks she's ever had. An incredibly subdued and forlorn track, where this guy ruined her life in the short time they were together - pretty clear reference to Matty Healy and the massive backlash that this rebound incurred from her fanbaser. And while she admits its was a questionable thing to do, she also admits that she did love him, even if only for a fortnight. I think that shows a level of real vulnerability, where even though she agrees with everybody's assessment that it was a bad idea, even if she now calls him "the smallest man who ever lived", and it would be so easy to just dismiss it as nothing... but she doesn't. It meant something to her at that moment.
Pair all that with the gorgeously integrated Post Malone feature, the references to alcohol dependency and the general hedonism, and it all shows someone who was in a very sad place, stooping to their lowest vices just to cope. We'll get more into exactly why on one of the other songs later, but for now, I really think this is fantastic, and way too many people are writing it off as just a Fortnite meme.
Title: The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift
Position: #4
On the other hand, I think this song might be the weakest on the album. The thing about that album title is that it IS incredibly pretentious, and while I'd argue that's by design, it is a shame that the title track more than lives up to it by disappearing up its own ass.
While it waxes poetic about "collecting your typewriter from my apartment", it feels way too overwritten for its own good, and yet she also repeats the chorus about 15 times, as Taylor asks: "Who's going to know/hold/troll you like me?" It just feels very lazy, there's so much more you could have done with a title like that. In other words, it's a rare case being over- AND underwritten, it's almost impressive!
Now, I don't think it's bad, per se. I still think it's produced really well, and Taylor almost sells it, she's certainly engaged enough. But it feels longer than it really is, the writing doesn't hold your attention, and ironically, if there was one track you could have cut from this project, in my opinion, it would have been the title track.
Title: I Can Do It With A Broken Heart by Taylor Swift
Position: #5
First of all, "Lights, Camera, Bitch, Smile" might just be one of my favourite lines she's ever written, only to then be immediately trumped by "I'm so depressed I act like it's my birthday everyday", referencing the concert she had to perform after she broke up with Joe Alwyn, the man she had felt was finally the one. And instead of mourning that relationship, with waaaaay too many people relying on this tour, she has to swallow it all up and sing with a big smile on her face.
Pair that with the Matty Healy backlash, and is it any wonder she's depressed, as the crowds simply scream they want MORE! And yeah, I don't think that's something a lot of people gave her full credit for in the media, I certainly didn't. And I know it's very easy to completely dismiss her feelings as a billionaire with more money than she knows what to do with, but long before she had that money, she built up her core fanbase by revealing her most vulnerable sides, especially during breakups, so why is this any different?
And for me, it's one of the best songs on the album, smiling through all that pain, and NOT just for her own sake, she's PAINFULLY aware how her mourning could affect and disappoint a LOT of people, who've paid vast amounts of money. Not my absolute favourite song on the album - So Long London, Daddy I Love Him, and Guilty As Sin? are all REALLY strong contenders, but in terms of the potential long-term hits, I think she'd be a fool not to push this one as the next single.
Title: Push Ups by Drake
Position: #20
I have been on Kendrick Lamar's side from the very beginning in this Drake beef, but J. Cole's disastrous attempt at a rebuttal and an even less predictable backpedal, the biggest rapper in the world probably wasn't going to respond, contenting himself to just call Kendrick out in public And while I did feel a certain way about everybody else then piling on and throwing shade at Drake when he was down... again, he's a prime target, I get it.
What I didn't expect was what followed! Because not only did Drake respond, he did it twice in a row, and in my opinion... he kind of killed it? In fact, I'd go even further and say that Drake is currently winning! Because as of writing this, Kendrick hasn't responded, and this response is awesome, covering all the bases that a diss track should! The beat is simple but exciting, Drake sounds HUNGRY, and not only does he have some pretty good stand-out jabs - the call-out of Kendrick's Marron 5 and Taylor Swift verses was SAVAGE, especially the former, and as a short king myself, that big steppers line BURNED - but he even found time to address ALL the relevant people who dissed him! The 20 v 1 line is very fair, the Future "wicked wicked wicked" legitimately made me laugh, although not as hard as the incredibly dismissive "Metro shut your ass up and make some drums" line, God that was mean in the best possible way!
But I think it's the full-on responses to Kendrick that stung the most: the fact that he makes fun of Kendrick's height might seem like sheer pettiness, but when you remember Kendrick called himself "Big Me", it makes a lot more sense, and according to Drake, Travis Scott, 21 Savage AND SZA all have him beat in that category - which is relevant as they've all had bigger hits than Kendrick (and just so happen to be Drake collaborators) - and while one of Kendrick's best bars was comparing himself to Prince and Drake to Michael, and how the former definitely outlives the latter in every way, Drake's response of "What's a price to a king? He a son." is INSPIRED, give that ghostwriter a fucking raise!
In other words, I think that this response is better than it has any right to be! Do I think that it's petty? Absolutely! Did Drake write his own bars? Probably not. And are there definitely some moments of hypocrisy? Sure! But purely by the rules of these beefs... it's waaaaaaay more entertaining than I was expecting! I'm waiting for Kendrick, he's still the one I'm rooting for, but right now, Drake's got this. I know that's crazy to hear coming from me, but there we are.
Title: Starburster by Fontaines D.C.
Position: #24
You know, I am not in the habit of covering a song more than once on this series, especially when I covered it on the Homegrown charts just the week before, but for Fontaines D.C., I'm willing to make an exception. After all, these guys have been at the forefront of Irish post punk for the last few years, garnering a ton of critical acclaim, and rightfully so! And while I think Skinty Fia was a bit of a change of pace for a lot of people, I thought it was even better than A Hero's Death, an absolutely triumphant culmination of everything that they had grown to be up until that point. including 2 of my favourite songs of 2022!
And as for this new song... MAN, does it live up to the hype of their very best! The hollering post-punk vocals of frontman Grian Chatten, who has this manic, almost train-of-thought energy to him, where even the GASPS sound so real and raw that it gives the track this almost breakneck quality! The entire song is about anxiety, and considering Grian reportedly sat down to record this, had a panic attack and then rewrote the lyrics on the spot... I mean whether or not that's entirely true, it's punk as HELL!
It's pure expressionism, the type of song you DON'T see chart much, and yet it still manages to be SO damn catchy, and that beat switch into the more traditional, composed piece is AWESOME, with Grian sounding as poised and composed as if he temporarily got a gun placed to his head, with a really quite beautiful, quivering tremor to his singing! Amazing song, let's keep this around!
Title: Pedro by Jaxomy, Agatino Romero & Raffaella Carrà
Position: #48
This is a remix of a 1980 song by Raffaella Carrà, which is apparently quite beloved among some, even if I'll admit I'd never heard it before... but turns out a lot more of us SHOULD be familiar with Raffaella herself!
Not only is she a badass, a huge activist for feminism, sex positivity, and LGBTQIA+ rights in Italy, but she worked in TV, the modeling industry, and released a 25 studio albums over the course of her life, singing in both Italian, Spanish, English and French, including THIS gem, which everyone should at least be passingly familiar with: A far l'amore comincia tu
Now, the original Pedro was a Latin pop track with elements of disco, all about Pedro, the best tourist guide in Santa Fe! And now, years later, it's been turned into a pretty basic dance remix centered around a dancing raccoon... oh, the age we live in.
Now, I want to specify this remix isn't bad, as much as it is incredibly lazy. It's a Majestic x Boney M move, where it's just the original song, sped up, with some light electronic additions that just make the song worse-sounding. That ugly bass beat doesn't match anything, and the pattern is laughably predictable. In other words, it's a bad remix of a really charming song... but it's so close to the original in so many ways that I can't even call it all bad, the original song's spirit still shines through the ugliness. So yeah, bad job Jaxomy, but I'd rather listen to this than that Badger remix of These Words, which was always an awful song.
Title: Cry No More by Headie One (Ft. Stormzy & Tay Keith)
Position: #57
I had a bad feeling about this from the start. I can't say I've ever been a Headie One fan, but at least Martin's Sofa was decent enough, whereas Stormzy is the more successful and arguably more talented artist, but MAN does everything about him scream pathetic to me, from the ego to the hypermasculine insecurity, to that desperate pivot towards gospel he took which last about as long as his fling with Afrobeats!
And as for this song... well, the chipmunk sample is honestly a decent idea - outside the moments where it gets too shrill - and while I think Headie One's flow is a little too similar to Central Cee's, at least his overall delivery is more animated and varied. Sadly his content is very basic, boiling down to "I hustle so none of my loved ones have to cry anymore", which is a GREAT sentiment... if he bothered to flesh it out at all in the verses, as opposed to the brand-name flexing that feels really hollow. Again, i remember Martin's Sofa, I know he can do better than this!
As for Stormzy... I like that he calls out Asake, the artist behind the sample, and there's something introspective and kind of sad about the fact that he HAS to spend 2 grand on skincare because he knows how important his appearance is to his success. But MAN does the narcissism creep in after that, claiming he's lonely at the top of the game and interpolating Sprinter by Dave and Central... you know, that song that was bigger than anything he's ever made! You're kidding yourself if you still think you're the king after all your swerving and backpedaling, Stormz! So yeah, it's fine, but I expect this to drop off the charts within a week or 3. We'll see.
Title: The Door by Teddy Swims
Position: #85
Teddy Swims seems like kind of a dick. Anyone else get that? He strikes me as a less likeable Luke Combs with more of a penchant for hollering gospel-touched tracks, and while his voice is undeniably good - which is what makes a song like Lose Control work at all - it always feels very performative, I'm actually shocked to learn he WASN'T on The Voice at some point, I kind of assumed!
Now, off the bat, I like the beat here a lot more. It's more lively and propulsive, and the tempo shows a different side of Teddy's vocals that shows he at least has range - take notes, Rag'n'Bone - and the song is a kiss-off to this girl who kept making him insecure and playing with his emotions, while he said he would die for her. And seeing that imbalance, and acknowledging that he DOES still love her, he's going to "save his life and show her the door". Extremely melodramatic, yes - and there's every possibility this girl was entirely blindsided by this and might even be secretly glad that he's showing her his true colours in this way and giving her an easy out - but I definitely have a couple of exes that I should have probably done this to... not that I would do that now, but I was still very emotionally unbalanced in my early 20s!
Either way, I can see the criticisms calling this mean-spirited, but I think it at least has more personality to it than Teddy Swims has shown up until this point. Maybe he's not just a The-Voice-singer-except-not-really singer... singer.
Title: We Ain't Here For Long by Nathan Dawe
Position: #88
Nathan Dawe has gradually become one of my minor enemies on this series, a moderately talented producer who just so happens to have released some of the worst and most annoying hits of the last few years.
But this isn't that: in fact, it's one of his better songs in a long time, and is all but guaranteed to be a hit. A very feel-good song about seizing the day, overcoming loneliness, and living your life before it's gone. And what makes it work for me is the underlying tragedy and pain in the lyrics. There are references to feeling empty, recurring feelings of isolations, and that's all before the very pointed title.
The beat may be fairly simple and straightforwards, but the song works because the dancing is in service of overcoming a lot of really negative emotions that won't just go away, and time is running out, our protagonist is barely holding on, giving all of themselves until they're empty. And damn do I connect to that sometimes, we all do! Good song Nathan, you should really do more of this and steer clear of Ella Henderson!
Title: Malicious Intentions by Pozer
Position: #97
I quite enjoyed Kitchen Stove, so when I saw that Pozer was back on the charts this week with a brand new song, I was definitely intrigued. And honestly, once again, I'm impressed!
I've seen a few people compare Pozer's voice to AJ Tracey's and while I guess I hear it, I think his personality and flow feel much more guttural, in a good way. And while Kitchen Stove had this great descriptive quality, where the jumpy beat showcased the paranoia and mistrust he felt, Malicious Intentions is much more outwardly aggressive, riding around on the hunt late at night, presumably on his way to deliver some type of punishment. If Kitchen Stove explored how he grew up and became this way, Malicious Intentions delves into the what happens when the few people he does trust betray him.
Now overall, I think I still prefer Kitchen Stove, whose beat and atmosphere felt so lived-in and vivid. But I still think that as a follow-up, this continues the story, as well as giving us a new level of energy and another great beat to match. I'm curious to hear a full project from this guy, gotta say.
Title: Stumblin' In by CYRIL
Position: #99
Remember that Sound Of Silence remix from last week that worked way better than it should have? Well, Cyril Riley, or CYRIL, is actually an Australian DJ of some renown who I didn't actually give full credit to last week, my mistake. And in keeping with what he's put out so far, his new song is a remix of the 1980s hit Stumblin 'In by Chris Norman and Suzi Quatro, and I was tentatively optimistic about hearing it.
And after listening to it, yeah, I think that was well-founded! The way the beat and reverb manages to compliment the original harmonies while still making them feel new and up-to-date, all while still showcasing the original's great melody while adding his own unique touches... I just think it sounds really good!
Now, could you argue some of the soul of the original - a heartfelt and descriptive duet like this - gets lost because of the more sterile remix? Yes, I think that's fair, I don't think this has the heart of the original, and I might have liked if CYRIL went a little further and made this a bit more wild and danceable (DNA (Loving You) came on right after I listened to this and the difference in catchiness and danceability is night and day), but I still think that as this type of remix goes, CYRIL is one of the better and more respectful ones doing it.
And that was our week, one where Taylor's impact honestly feels rather minor in the larger scheme of things! In fact, as much as I love Fortnight and I Can Do It With A Broken Heart, and Drake got shockingly close too, Best isn't going to her, but to Starburster by Fontaines D.C., for being one of the best and most exciting songs I've heard so far in 2024! If this becomes a real hit, I will lose my shit, as unlikely as that is! I'm almost tempted to skip Worst though, this week was pretty great! But if I had to... I guess it goes to Pedro by Jaxomy, Agatino Romero & Raffaella Carrà, purely for Jaxomy's contributions, the original's really good and the raccoon is a good boy.
National Treasures
And now it's time for our new entries to the Homegrown Top 20. And considering I'm only getting this on Friday morning, I'm gonna keep this VERY brief, while still being quite excited:
Title: Here It Is by Cian Ducrot
Position: #9
Ugh, it's you again. You know, ever since Cian Ducrot made the WORST song of 2023, I've been following his Instagram journey and really soaking in just how fucking fake he really seems. Cringey and lacking in self-awareness as most early 2010s prank youtubers, his likability has plummeted for me in recent months, and seeing just how many of his delusional fans buy into his bullshit is just fucking depressing.
Anyway, this is his newest single, actually his first new one of 2024... sigh and credit where it's due, this is kind of decent. A song where 2 people can see the end of their relationship on the horizon, where after months of working hard and trying and fighting for the 2 of them, the pieces are finally collapsing. And while Cian sounds as overwrought on this as ever, and the piano line is very basic, you could argue that unkempt quality adds to the defeatist tone of the song, where all your efforts still weren't enough.
Look, I don't see myself coming back to this, it's certainly been done many MANY times before by far better artists. But for what it's worth, Cian didn't suck this time; and with his track record, that's something.
And that's our week! As always, let me know in the Comments what you thought of the songs covered this week, and leave a Like if you enjoyed! Please make sure to follow me everywhere so you don't miss a thing, and Subscribe to the blog to keep up with my weekly chart reflections. I hope life treats you kindly, and until the next time, I'm Fionn and this is The Social Tune signing off!
Wasn't "Intro (End of the World)" at #87 a debut, wonder why that wasn't covered?